Chaos theory

I am pooped.


(from Dictionary.com) pooped [poopt] adjective; Informal.

fatigued; exhausted: I'm too pooped to go shopping today.

Right now, I don't know if I am gonna continue studying Physical Therapy, or if I am gonna fulfill my dream to become a Pediatrician; for two reasons: 1) as I've said, I'm pooped and, 2) my mind is in a state of chaos.

I think summer classes is driving me (and a certain Chinese friend) crazy. Even though summer (for me) is meant for vacation, beaches, out-of-town memories and late-night movie/doodle/book fest, here I am, studying three organ-systems for an exam and analyzing graphs for a presentation. 

When my friend texted me, the first thing we talked about was "summer classes is so boring." and I thought exactly the same. All that's what is happening (including things that I shouldn't be worrying about) this summer is making my brain chaotic, and I think it's bad for my penguin-infested life.

But I read Whole Living magazine's article entitled "The case for Chaos", explains what Chaos theory is. It was stated there that "Chaos theory includes the study of dynamical systems-sets of elements that interact in complex, often nonlinear ways-connected by feedback. This phenomenon is like human inspiration: a series of flutters and confusions that precede an organizing insight."


"The mark of a creative person is a willingness to accept ambivalence-that liminal stage between problem and solution-as a place of both discomfort and possibility. We tend to spend our lives seeking contentment or mindless excitement, avoiding ambivalence because it makes us feel anxious. But there's another response: Oh wow, something's happening here. Let me see where it takes me." 

Hmm. I'll take in mind that this topsy-turvy and crazy world, there's something unpredictable, yet something that's worth it (I guess?), so I'll just go along with this whimsical chain of events and I hope the results will be great.

Maybe 'this I'm pooped' business is due to the abrupt change in weather, or I'm just being a drama queen again. I hope in creating this blog, my mind may feel at ease and perhaps what I really want to do with my life comes after.

P.S.
Sorry for a pessimistic (and confusing) first post. I thought this was supposed to be an art dump blog.
Hello to my college girlfran!~ Blesse Usana. Check her blog out! :)